Saturday, August 5

Blind War Morons v. Brainless Morans: Visual Metaphors for America's Iraq War Brain Trust

"We can do anything we want if we stick to it long enough."--Hellen Keller

The sports network ESPN recently showcased the 100 Funniest Sport Moments. My favorite video clip featured a National Hockey League coach wordlessly contesting an offside call against one of his players. Handed a red-and-white telescoping walking cane of a blind fan by partisan companions seated next to the team box, the suit-and-tie attired home team coach launched onto the ice and scooted toward the line judge. With his left arm waving in mock desperation at steadying himself, the coach frantically tapped with the stick at the referee's feet, implying the official had to be blind to make such a terrible call. The hapless man gamely struggled to fight off the demeaning effects of the brilliant prank as waves of partisan laughter rolled through the crowd.

You can capriciously imbibe some of those NHL fans' gleeful mockery of authority by directing your attention to the end of Bush's binoculars in the photo above; our commander-in-chief forgot to remove the lens cap. While I'm uncertain if Bush is in Iraq having a go at assessing some strategic military spectacle, the unflattering but perfectly-timed shot is still an apt metaphor for the blind ineptness of the White House's brain trust that took America to war.

Personally, I find this photo of a spelling- challenged St. Louis Cardinal baseball fan a more telling metaphor of the cumulative managerial intelligence of the commander-in-chief and his senior war advocates.

All these sports connections suggest just one more. Miami Dolphins head football coach Lou Saban would never publicly criticize Bush's myriad bad calls in Iraq. But Saban just might have indicated his disapproval of his short-sighted commander-in-chief when the coach declined last week Bush's invitation to regale First Brother Jeb and the president with NFL insider stories over a shrimp dinner in Miami.

The National Football League's preseaon camps had just opened a day or so before Saban's invitation. Perhaps the Dolphins' two-a-day practices already had given Coach Saban all the heartburn and discouragement over preseason raw ineptness he could manage for one week.

*Commander-in-chief photo submitted by photographer David Sheridan
(Revised 8 August 2006)

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