Monday, January 21

Big Dick's "Down Under" Sheep Humor

A dear friend forwarded me a blueish pastoral joke, posted below, indicating the bawdy humor's origin as New Zealand.

But I have it on unimpeachable authority that Dick Cheney's Wyoming sheep ranch (where he and his paler doppleganger regularly stalk two- and four-legged prey in sheep disguise, right) is the real venue where a sex crime was committed.

Completely lacking in any redeeming social taste, the joke nonetheless is an apt metaphor for the famously repressed neoconic proclivity for sexual tawdriness that bleatingly skips and leaps well beyond Christendom's criminal code for the salacious and perverse.

Literary evidence supporting the view that Big Dick's Wyoming sheep ranch is the venue is plentiful and beyond the circumstantial; it ranges from wife's Dr. Lynn Cheney's--who holds a Ph.D. in 19th-century Victorian literature from the University of Wisconsin-Madison--illicit sexual fantasies sublimated into a turgid 177-page novel of upper-crust Sapphic love on Wyoming's 1870s open range (online here) to the VP's indicted former Chief of Staff Scooter Libby, pardoned (or soon to be) for outing CIA covert operative Valerie Plame, whose 1996 novel The Apprentice chronicles a virgin's frothy descent into bestiality and pedophilia.

Then there is Dick's own alleged preference for stalking humans with rifles at his Greybull, Wyoming hunting lodge after indulging his fill of buggering young boys and girls, just some of the executive tastes that Brice Taylor chronicles--to date, lawsuit-free--in her 1995 bestselling cult classic book Trance: Formation of America on CIA MK-ULTRA mind control technologies for "sheep dipping" those unfleeced virgins of the American flock who can't--or won't--believe such official practices exist. (Cheney's alleged "oversized penis" makes a gleeful appearance on page 101 of Brice's book, fully accessible here.)

Literary smoke apparently precedes GOP sexual fire.

But, honestly folks, my favorite piece--no pun intended--of evidence indicative of more run-of-the-mill GOP perversion of "family values" is this one:

* Mike Hintz, a First Assembly of God youth pastor, introduced by Bush on the campaign trail, and promoted his policies.[55] Says he supports Bush's values. Two months later, this married father of four turned himself into police, charged with the sexual exploitation of a child. [56][57]

Need I worry about being tasteless? I think not. But for a fuller list--with a bipartisan leaning--of what Washington's tastes incline toward on "family values," check here or here.

There was a Man from Auckland...(read "Greybull")

So here's the sheep joke:
A guy with land near Auckland buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.

After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and phones a vet for help.

The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant.

The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself.

So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the Land Rover again.

He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted.

Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.

"Try again." he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive them out to the woods He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon returning home, falls knackered into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out of the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.

"No," she says, "but they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is beeping the horn."

Related:


Former GOP Nebraska state senator, Vietnam War vet and attorney John Decamp's startling book The Franklin Cover-up provided the lion's share of evidence for the 1994 joint UK-Discovery Channel documentary embedded below, Conspiracy of Silence.

I implore you to read the opening notes in the first few seconds of the 55-minute film to really appreciate why you never hear about Washington, D.C.-sponsored pedophilia and sex slavery preferred by the likes of Dick and literary sidekick Scooter.




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